I’m so fucking sick of being ignored and neglected by people who I care at least the tiniest bit about, what kind of a damn curse is it supposed to be? For it happens every single fucking time and I don’t know why I shouldn’t deserve better attitude. I wonder, if it is me getting attached to the shittiest damn morons, or is it morons all around, or is it me again, who is impossible to show at least a minimum of respect to? And then if I indulge people in their neglect, I’ve got only myself to blame, for thus I encouraged them to treat me like that, but if I take offense, I’m a stupid cunt, and a sorehead, and a bore. Fuck, I hate it. Why can’t just people be honest and not only start talking to me because they’re bored and not because they’re interested? That’s the nastiest thing one can do to another, really. I’ve been through that so many times: you get to know a person, you share some innermost thoughts with them and you find an active response actually, but then it turns out, their response was a mere vulgar mediocre idle curiosity and nothing more and they don’t give a single fuck about you. Fuck, I feel absolutely done, I can’t even be angry anymore, I’m just desperate.
Coil – I don’t want to be the one